失败了

真的，这回我彻彻底底地失败了。。。。
我太天真了，我太自负了，
我根本不是那块料。。。
能力有限，经验有限；
不够冷静，容易被压力击垮；
没说服力，纪律放太松了。。。
无法在适当的时候说出适当的话语
以为凭着一股傻颈，什么都不需要了。。。
我太天真了。。。
我还在垂死挣扎吗？我自爽来干嘛。。。
还要做笑给人看吗？丢人现眼。。。
不过反正从一开始就给人笑够了。。。
从此不理它，活得自在些，却永远抬不起头。。。
现在放弃，期待未来，重来过，感觉会好一些，但似乎不太负责任，好像只是骗自己。。。
咬着不放，却太辛苦了，反正也太迟了

平凡是福

苏打绿 - 他夏了夏天

词：吴青峰 曲：吴青峰


几点钟 结束梦 他按下闹钟
如往常 开始了一天生活
忙工作 忙收获 早餐吃什麼
他和他 维持齿轮的脉搏

汗水在他的身上化成了彩虹
步伐的节奏延续生命的河流
默默在岗位战斗的每个小小英雄
富有和贫穷 卑微和伟大相同
他从不害怕自己被人群淹没
中午吃便当是他最大享受

几点钟 也许是 月出的时候
如往常 结束了一天工作
他心中 幻想著 晚餐吃什麼
家里的 让他不怕往前冲

疲累在他的身上化成了笑容
步伐的节奏开始不那麼沉重
轻轻旋转著夏天地面闷热的晚风
平凡或特别 笨拙或聪明相同
他从不担心自己被世界折磨
甜蜜的负荷是他最大依托


疲累在他的身上化成了笑容
步伐的节奏开始不那麼沉重
轻轻旋转著夏天地面闷热的晚风
平凡或特别 笨拙或聪明相同
他从不担心自己被世界折磨
甜蜜的负荷是他最大依托

带著笑容的睡意化成了彩虹
在他梦中一口气走上了星空
喧嚣地亮起整个夏天渴望的挥霍
清淡与浓烈 好与坏他都尝过
他从不介意自己被命运作弄
按下了闹钟开启另一个梦

joshua

receiving a honour or gift which you do not deserved to... how would you feel? Lucky? Blessed? Excited? Wat if this honour had been a responsibility? i should be thankful for this undeserved gift, but somehow it had been a burden for me... leading a bunch of people in a field which they are much better than u, a bunch of people with great pride for their great knowledge and ability... who am i to lead them? or even inspire them?
Joshua, heir of Moses, the great prophet, was chosen by God to lead the Israelites after the death of Moses. Moses was a charismatic leader with great abilities, making lots and lots of miracles, leading the israelites to escape from Egypt... Extraordinary power and natural ability of Moses to inspire others keep the israelites to follow him. Joshua, in the other hand was much an ordinary human. his ability and charisma were far dimmed compared to Moses, even some of the Israelites showed better caliber... But he had succeed to lead and unite the 12 tribes of israelites, which were consists of great army, warrior, priest and scholar, to win over great enemies...
With strong armies, the tribes of israelites didn't have any reasons to bow under a ordinary person like Joshua... But why are they willing to be followers of Joshua?
This is because, they follow not because of the charisma of the leader they are following, neither Moses nor Joshua, But they follow since God is with the leader, as they see the leader can lead them to the rite way as god wished..
May god be with me as he is with joshua, may god let me be a inspiring leader that let people see the right way, as they would follow the way...

每个人都会 - 方大同

每个人都会 - 方大同

爱是两人一张绵被
也是一人一瓶清水
都说对
爱是送一百支玫瑰
也是让赤地开花惢
就ok

人间的青草地 需要浇水
内心的花园 就不会枯萎
把最甜最好的滋味
散播到东南西北

甚麼比 love love love love love 更美
爱让人安心在梦中 熟睡
啊 love love love love love 最美
美在每一个人都会

爱是让人感动流泪
也是停止制造伤悲
都答对
爱是为好朋友解围
也是为陌生人破费
就ok

人间的青草地 需要浇水
内心的花园 就不会枯萎
把最甜最好的滋味 散播到东南西北

甚麼比 love love love love love 更美
爱让人安心在梦中 熟睡
啊 love love love love love 最美
美在每一个人都会

爱肯付出的汗水 爱小王子的蔷薇
爱旅途上的兄弟姊妹
爱所有青山绿水 爱所有难忘约会
爱上对爱的体会

只有 love love love love love 最美
它会建成最安全的堡垒
甚麼比 love love love love love 更美
美在只要有心都会 学会
不用甚麼智慧 只要用心体会
爱让每人都有机会

down

No… that feeling is rearising in my mind again, i hate this feeling.. a feeling that I fear the most, a feeling that once had been disturbing me for a long time, a feeling that I thought I had been totally free from it… it’s a feeling of extremely low self esteemed, that myself have nothing good compare to others, that I am living in this world as a useless person, living without any contribution… a feeling that my existence is insignificant, which no one would appreciate, which is meant to be ignored.. Maybe they would even live better without me… Maybe someday I suddenly disappear from this world, or die in a remote place, no one would notice as well, or even if they notice, it wouldn’t affect them…
I won’t go for suicide… but I don’t know why such feeling suddenly recurrent in my mind. Believe me, none of you will have bigger fear towards it than me, and I want to get rid of it more than anyone else…
Why would it come back and bug me? Ya… recently, my life sucks… bad news and failures are appearing one by one… well, not recently, my life always sucks… but, once, not long ago, I had been so motivated, having a lot of confidence, that I had a good life, for no reason… now, I miss that well being feeling… Maybe human’s memory would selectively keep those good memories, dumping the bad ones, lead to my paradoxical well being feeling… I had been holding on to my belief strongly, making others as nonsense and foolish… I had been following my own standards, instead of following others, since I had seen inaccuracy and bias in their standards. But now, my stands are shaking, is it too arrogant for me to set my own standards? Or I was setting my own standards, so that it would mask my failure in standards of others… Am I fooling myself?
Maybe i had this feeling because i am too free during the holiday.. haha. Well, maybe I really had nothing to be proud of…

不了解

这是什么复杂的感觉啊？是心动了吗？不会吧。。。是妒嫉吗？不排除这种可能性。。。或许是不愿服输吧。。。人家有，我也要有；还是抢别人的东西总是比送上门来的有快感？我在不爽什么？又没伤害到自己或任何人，而且这样不是皆大欢喜吗。。。
真的越来越不了解自己。。。 自以为很清高，不食人间烟火，不顾他人说的，不同流合污，不人云亦云，也能坚持到底，其实，只是还未经考验，不过如此； 自以为男儿志在四方，很志高远大，其实是在做白日梦，空有奇想，纸上谈兵，其实都在混日子； 自以为这样叫脚踏实地，其实是缩头缩尾，墨守成规； 自以为是情痴，会一直放不下，其实早就忘了；以为看的很透彻，其实是自以为是；自以为很合群，其实很自我；自以为交游广阔，其实都是点头之交。。。
自以为能对自己诚实，其实骗了自己很多。。。

If we love one another...

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another, By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)

If we could love one another, there could be no war and argument, there could be no pain and suffering.
If we could love one another, how good and beautiful could the world be!!!

Love your family, as they are the closest ones to you, as they are the reasons you lived on the earth.

love your loved ones, as they are a part of you, as they are walking you through your whole life, as they are loving you as much as you do.

love your friends, as they had brought happiness to you, as they had walked you through the lonely night, as they had aided you in your hard times.

love your teachers, as they are the ones who filled you with knowledge and wisdom, as they had lead you to the right way, as they had not been letting you to live with foolishness.

love those in pain or suffering, as they needed it more than anyone else, as your love could have strengthen them to get over whatever they are facing.

love the needies and poors, as they had nothing, as your love could fill their emptiness and lacks.

love those strangers who walked pass you, as they are human beings like you and me, as your love could bring colours to their life.

love the ones you hate, as they had been a heavy stone in your heart, as your love have been the only cure for this stress.

love your enemies, as vengeance doesn't have an end but love, as love could bring enemies to friend.

love one another, sounds simple yet difficult, but how beautiful if this world could be a place spilling with love...