Easily falling into the past, always thinking that how good would it be if time could rewind.
Always thinking if i could get back to that time, i could take better measures, i wouldn't give it up so easily, i would start earlier.
if time could rewind, i could fill those emptiness and mistakes...
Too bad, i can't... should look forward instead...
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
weak
yes i m weak...
what or who gave me those confidence all this time?
at least now i realise that i am weak,and it will take my pride away...
that's the only good thing i think...
what or who gave me those confidence all this time?
at least now i realise that i am weak,and it will take my pride away...
that's the only good thing i think...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
doubts
doubting the path i had chosen again after 1 and a half years.
i don't really like what i had chosen at the beginning,its all about the money,
but somehow being motivated as i realize how much changes i could make to the world by taking this path, how many people i could save.
Had been willing to bear this responsibility although it would be hard and need lots of sacrifices, but it makes my life a lot more meaningful.
so, i was so sure that i wanted what i had chosen for a period of 1 and a half years, despite marked declining results.
i never doubt my own ability, was so confident that it was my perspective that is differ from the authorities and my unwillingness to give up my stand caused the declining results. Or maybe the authorities were biased. Or there were too much things i had to take care which distracted me from doing well.
i am really doubting myself now. Am i on the right path? First time, i really tried hard with the least distraction and fullest preparation ever, but still get a shit...
sure i can continue this path with my current situation, my life is still secured, probably same with those did well, just lack of little pride.... it wont be a problem if it only affects myself, but in fact it is not. I am dealing with human's life.
besides, really hard to give up my pride, it drives me to do things...
Was thinking to change my path but it affects not only myself, too much things and people will be affected... i can't be so capricious, especially when i had a family that had been in a hard condition for years and needed me for a improvement.
Giving myself one last chance
i don't really like what i had chosen at the beginning,its all about the money,
but somehow being motivated as i realize how much changes i could make to the world by taking this path, how many people i could save.
Had been willing to bear this responsibility although it would be hard and need lots of sacrifices, but it makes my life a lot more meaningful.
so, i was so sure that i wanted what i had chosen for a period of 1 and a half years, despite marked declining results.
i never doubt my own ability, was so confident that it was my perspective that is differ from the authorities and my unwillingness to give up my stand caused the declining results. Or maybe the authorities were biased. Or there were too much things i had to take care which distracted me from doing well.
i am really doubting myself now. Am i on the right path? First time, i really tried hard with the least distraction and fullest preparation ever, but still get a shit...
sure i can continue this path with my current situation, my life is still secured, probably same with those did well, just lack of little pride.... it wont be a problem if it only affects myself, but in fact it is not. I am dealing with human's life.
besides, really hard to give up my pride, it drives me to do things...
Was thinking to change my path but it affects not only myself, too much things and people will be affected... i can't be so capricious, especially when i had a family that had been in a hard condition for years and needed me for a improvement.
Giving myself one last chance
Saturday, December 18, 2010
rebellion
he's not a small kid anymore, he can't be easily satisfied with a candy anymore,
he's not going to obey you, without a solid reason, sometimes even when the reason is obviously present
he starts to fight for what he think is right, although he hasn't truely know what's right and wrong,
he refuses to follow others, he wants to be different,
he's discovering himself...
well, everyone has to go through this stage...
May god fill me with wisdom to play my part in guiding him through this period...
he's not going to obey you, without a solid reason, sometimes even when the reason is obviously present
he starts to fight for what he think is right, although he hasn't truely know what's right and wrong,
he refuses to follow others, he wants to be different,
he's discovering himself...
well, everyone has to go through this stage...
May god fill me with wisdom to play my part in guiding him through this period...
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Mr. Average
Yes, i am describing myself...
Suddenly found that i am really average on everything,
well, i am really bad in many things, and at the same time can be better than many in some fields,
but had never been the best...
wonder is there any field that can let me feel myself as the best of all...
Losing myself again....
Arrgghhh.. i hate it!!!!
back to study....
Suddenly found that i am really average on everything,
well, i am really bad in many things, and at the same time can be better than many in some fields,
but had never been the best...
wonder is there any field that can let me feel myself as the best of all...
Losing myself again....
Arrgghhh.. i hate it!!!!
back to study....
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
还是会寂寞
早已忘了想你的滋味是什么
因为每分每秒都被你占据在心中
你的一举一动牵扯在我生活的隙缝
谁能告诉我离开你的我会有多自由
也曾想过躲进别人温暖的怀中
可是这么一来就一点意义也没有
我的高尚情操一直不断提醒著我
离开你的我不论过多久还是会寂寞
因为每分每秒都被你占据在心中
你的一举一动牵扯在我生活的隙缝
谁能告诉我离开你的我会有多自由
也曾想过躲进别人温暖的怀中
可是这么一来就一点意义也没有
我的高尚情操一直不断提醒著我
离开你的我不论过多久还是会寂寞
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
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