my limit

Felt that i am exceeding my limit. Cant really do anything well. Thank god for always humbling whenever i was about to be carried away.
Had determine to serve god, but had struggled long, for nth bt my own fear... but at least i got a chance now.i shall be bringing ppl to god, bt cant find a way. Its hard to talk such thing to others, especially ur friends and loved ones, while they are those you care the most, and you want them to share god's love the most.
Relationships are a bunch of messes too. I am further apart from my family aond friends. Had no clue on my love life, well its not sth i could plan of. perhaps i still have some unsettled business with it, which was not properly cleared last time, well i cant do anything with it anymore...
my academic performance was a mess too. had been giving shitty work recently. really doubt whether i could i be a competent pharmacist in less than a year time... most of my friends are starting on their planning on career, business , entrepreneurship, whatever.... i seemed so noob on that... really doubt could i even survive the future...
sponsorship things are messes too, left it for long time dy. should be more responsible on that. what kind of shitty head is me? maybe its not really in my ability.
too much shitty to be talked, it woould take days.... just stop here, conclusion, FML

Sorry

honestly, i don't want a second chance, even if i could... It wasn't the same anymore... All i need is a chance to say sorry, and seems i lost that chance again too... No one is replacable, and no one is replacement for another... Don't try to replace it with a similar 1, that will piss me off... Its not a thing that could be made a joke