men are from mars, women are from venus

Once upon a time, men lived on mars... they are a group of arrogant people, ambitious people, smart people, they work hard, developing all kinds of hi-tech stuff, they always see achieving success in their work is the main part of a meaningful life.
One day, the mars people invented a telescope, and they discovered venus. They saw the people in venus, called women. The Venus people are so different, they are elegant, artistic, sensitive to every finest and beautiful thing, relationships with other people is wat they consider as meaning of life.
The mars people were so excited, they have never seen such thing in their life, their natural instinct of adventuring and discovering drives them mad. Thus, the mars people quickly invented a spaceship and travel to venus. Upon arrival on Venus, the Mars and Venus people met, and they mixed up better than expected. They are so amazed by the character of each other which is absent in themselves, which made them fit each other like a lock and a key. They were so happy to meet each other thus they decided to live together. So, the mars people brought the venus people into their spaceship, and travel to a new planet called earth.
Time passed days after days, the mars and venus people live together peacefully in earth, they were so used to the presence of each other, until they forgot their own origin, where they came from different planet. Since then, the Mars people expect the venus people to think logically like they do, while the venus people expect the mars people to be as sentimental as they do. They found that they don't understand each other anymore, they do not fit in each other anymore, thus there were no peace anymore... They were complaining about each other all the time.
people from two planet, difference is always there, no matter how long they lived together. Key to maintain the peace or happiness, is never to eliminate the difference, but is to live with the difference. you are who you are, you shall never change and you are not able to change, otherwise, you are losing yourself. Accept the difference of each other, accomodate for each other. In fact, from the beginning, it was the difference that attracts people from two planet together... Learning to accept and enjoy the difference, you'll discover how well the difference can fit two people in, like a lock and a key...

(Gray, 1992)

Keep and throw

Choices have to be made, one person cant own too many things, one person cant be so greedy. There stages in life that you shall not restrict yourself to anything, there is no such thing as exposure to too much things, as everyone is still discovering their path. However, there is a time where people shall move into a stage that choices have to be made, and certain things have to be given up, as life goes on, things are getting harder and no one can handle too much things at the same time, pick those you have the most passion and ability. Seems i extend the discovery stage too long, in fact, i delayed the stages. While people were discovering, i closed myself; when it is time to start making choices, i was just starting to discover. Well, it's time to gave up something, or else i can't reach both ends.
Make choices on things, not people. Appreciate every person that entered your life, never have any thought on choosing who to stay, who to leave, even if they hurt you, because it will never goes your way. No one can act the way you desire always, everyone makes mistakes, no one could stay in your life forever, every friends have a day to part, but the relations always stay, if u never choose to eliminate them. Never choose who to help, help anyone as long as you have the ability to and it's the right thing. People may not give a return, people may not appreciate your deed, people may turn their back on you, but those never hurt, it was your expectation that hurts.

can i kill myself?

Tai ChU hOng!!! What are you doing!!! You think you're so good?!! you think you don't need to work hard? How are you going to live with an attitude like that? When are you going to learn? When are you going to change? When are you going to throw your pride away? I felt like slapping you to death.... please... don't behave like that anymore... you're not a kid anymore, time to take life seriously...

my limit

Felt that i am exceeding my limit. Cant really do anything well. Thank god for always humbling whenever i was about to be carried away.
Had determine to serve god, but had struggled long, for nth bt my own fear... but at least i got a chance now.i shall be bringing ppl to god, bt cant find a way. Its hard to talk such thing to others, especially ur friends and loved ones, while they are those you care the most, and you want them to share god's love the most.
Relationships are a bunch of messes too. I am further apart from my family aond friends. Had no clue on my love life, well its not sth i could plan of. perhaps i still have some unsettled business with it, which was not properly cleared last time, well i cant do anything with it anymore...
my academic performance was a mess too. had been giving shitty work recently. really doubt whether i could i be a competent pharmacist in less than a year time... most of my friends are starting on their planning on career, business , entrepreneurship, whatever.... i seemed so noob on that... really doubt could i even survive the future...
sponsorship things are messes too, left it for long time dy. should be more responsible on that. what kind of shitty head is me? maybe its not really in my ability.
too much shitty to be talked, it woould take days.... just stop here, conclusion, FML

Sorry

honestly, i don't want a second chance, even if i could... It wasn't the same anymore... All i need is a chance to say sorry, and seems i lost that chance again too... No one is replacable, and no one is replacement for another... Don't try to replace it with a similar 1, that will piss me off... Its not a thing that could be made a joke

worthless

  i felt like fool for doing all this... kinda worthless to do such thing, who cares about it? don't dream of changing the world in such a way... i don't need any reward... i just hope people to be a fool like me, that's the only way i would felt being appreciated... ridiculous right???

lost, again

  i am really frustrated, i don't like being in this stage.... i felt really restricted to do anything, my abilities are so limited. Its the time to stop being dependent on others, but still not able to do so; its the time to find your own position and make some impact on others, but still are not sure are you giving a good impact and people just won't listen to you. felt do helpless its the darkest age i think, and i can't wait for it to pass, time please run faster...